Everyone told me it might be traumatic, everyone told me I'd cry......
I was prepared for the worst when I took Zachary to daycare on Monday, but I had no idea mother nature would also try to chip in to make it more difficult.
On Sunday, Zachary started to cry uncontrollably. There was just nothing I could do to sooth him or calm him down and it broke my heart. I noticed the crying was worse when he wasn't elevated, so after changing myself twice and him three times in an hour, I decided we had a case of really bad gas or acid. The good news is that he got to be held all day by a guilt filled mom and dad. And then the weather came.
Monday was FREEZING, snowing, and COLD. I felt like mother nature was working hard to make my first commute to daycare long and tough. By the time we got to the front door, Kyle and I had arms filled with diapers, wipes, bottles, and a baby wearing 10 layers. We were still feeling strong enough to make it through the doors and then we saw a couple leaving in tears. It was their first day too. Kyle and I looked at each other, took a deep breath, and headed back to Zachary's room as a family.
We put his gear in his cubby, I handed over my 10 pages of notes on how to care for him, and then turned to Zachary to say goodbye. I watched Kyle lean over to whisper loving words and at that moment, I fought every tear from coming. It was just how I was told. I wanted to cry. I wanted to grab him and tell him I was sorry for leaving him. But I held it together for just enough time to get to the parking lot.....and then I balled my face off.
When I got to my desk at work, it had 3 inches of dust, files everywhere, and a computer with expired passwords and an attitude. It was a rough day back, but I was so excited to leave and hear about Zachary's day. When I got back to Zachary's room, his teacher smiled and said, "You have quite the little flirt on your hands. He's been smiling at me all day." I had to chuckle for a bit. After all of the worry and guilt, my little man seemed to smile through it all.
My family isn't perfect and we take it day-by-day, but I learned that putting on a smile and trying to make the best of the day is the truly best way to handle it all.
It's just another lesson I learned from our 12 week old baby.
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Awww, I love this!
ReplyDeleteIf I had been there, I would have made your desk all nice and organized and welcomed you back with some flowers to make you smile.
ReplyDeleteI remember how hard these first few weeks can be.
Hugs! You and Kyle have a super sweet little guy. So happy for you!