Zachary and Max, What I Want You To Know

Zachary and Max,
It's been an emotionally tough two months for your Mom.  I had the unfortunate experience of a friend losing her 16 month old son, Kelby.  He simply went to bed and never woke up.  It's so tragic and so terrible to know a child loss.

Kelby was just a month older than you, Max.  I think about him often when I look at you.  He was probably the same size and I know his mom loved him more than words.

Only a month later, my close High School friend , Steve Waldie, passed at the young age of 33.

Experiencing these loses so close together gave me some tough perspective that I'd like to share with you.

1.  You never know what pain others are experiencing.  When you're having a tough day, there's a good chance someone is having a tougher day than you.  Think about that when someone cuts you off in traffic. Think about it when someone is mean to you in school.  Think about it when someone is sitting alone at school.  People experience really tough times, so try to make their day better by a simple smile, letting someone in a hurry on the road pass you, or say hello to the person you pass on the street.  You never know how far it will go.

2.  Tell loved ones that you love them.  Even the ones you see everyday.  In my opinion, love can be given on different levels.  Tell your friends you love them.  Tell your neighbors you love them.  Most importantly, tell your Mom and Dad you love them.  Also, offer hugs as a sign of love when you can.

3.  Hold a baby as often as you can.  Babies are miracles.  Babies are a blessing.  Your soul will be calmed when you get to hold and get a close view of a miracle.

4.  Keep things in perspective.  Not everyone gets to have a job that changes people's lives.  Mom and Dad don't have jobs that will eventually cure cancer or help needy people, however, we show up on-time and work hard at what we do because we care about who we are and want to provide the best for you both. Be confident in whatever you choose to do each day.  No matter what career path you choose, people will remember how you treated them while you earn a living.

5.  Being a parent will be the best job you'll ever get to have.  In parenting, no one gets plaques for best diaper changes or best attempt at grocery shopping with two small children.  Again, do the best you can and trust that others are doing the same.

6.  Never underestimate education, art or music.  Education comes from school, from your parents, and from life.  You can learn from your mistakes, learn from others, or learn from school.  Just never stop learning. For Art, enjoy looking at things closely and with a different perspective.  Your Dad and I love the messy art your bring home from school and would frame it faster than a real Monet. You don't always have to stay in the lines.  And for music- dance your tail off. Even if you dance in your underwear at home or sing in the car, music can make your day better and help you express yourself.

7.  Take lots of pictures.  You never know when you'll need them.

8.  Listen to your kids.  Both of you make your Dad and I smile so much.  I'm so thankful you want to share stories and thoughts and I hope that ever ends.

9.  Take care of each other.  People will come in and out of your lives, but my hope is that you'll have a constant friendship with each other.  Stay by each other's sides.  Believe in each other and never let something come between you.

10.  Tell your Mom and Dad you love them.....as much as you can.